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First Draft: Becoming - Mystical Realisations

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Challenge Taken : St Pauls at High Tide

Saturday’s Showcase Sketches:  

I know I have been delving in some different forms of creativity lately (I have my moments) –I had some fun with them all (they helped me with the tough two weeks that have passed by); now I wanted to get back to the challenges I love taking part in.  In keeping with the yikici tradition, (you can’t expect me to not follow tradition! *stares in disbelief*) I have combined three challenges together (no need to sound surprise –I will gasp when I successfully combine like a hundred challenges together! :P )

If you are wondering about my ROW80 goals, I will provide an update following the details of the challenges set and of course the story below.

(As always, there is a pdf document at the bottom of the post for those who may find this a difficult read.)

The challengers and challenges are as follows:

‘For this challenge you can write in any genre you wish but your piece must include some sort of twist on the traditional fight for freedom or independence story. Perhaps your protagonist has to keep their independence or freedom hidden from others or perhaps they gain their freedom from mutant robots taking over the world, as long as it veers away from the typical independence story it should fit in with the challenge. Keep your word count under 1000 words for this one.’  The deadline is July 31st 2011.

‘This month’s challenge is to write a piece of flash fiction in 500 words or less.  The challenge is to write a story that prominently features a moon (our moon, an alien moon, whatever)…  It can be science fiction, fantasy, romance, mystery, etc.  It can be a myth about how the moon got into the night sky or a what the moon really is. It can be an apocalyptic tale about the moon’s demise. Whatever you like.’

Your three prompts for the next four weeks are as follows:

 

Image sourced from: http://www.tate.org.uk

  • Four lines of poetry:

Tear out a page of the book and make an aeroplane.
Launch it.  For an instant it seems that you have fashioned
A shape that can outwit air, that has slipped the knot.
But no.  The earth turns, the winch tightens, it is wound in.

-Defying Gravity by Roger McGough

  • Art Movement: Mannerism and here is another explanation of Mannerism / as for the Writing Genre; I have decided to give you the artistic reign again (so ultimately it’s your choice).

***

This challenge was a tough one.  I pondered a lot (it was constantly in the back of my mind brewing; then yesterday a light shone –I slept on it; today something special has taken shape; I hope you enjoy all the elements I have tried to weave into the story (twisted independence, moonstuck, the painting, the poem and Mannerism) as well as the story itself).  Without further ado I present to you St Pauls at High Tide –oh before I forget, the word count is 449 (with the title it is 454).  Enjoy!

 

ST PAULS AT HIGH TIDE

I have been anxious for some time now; the time neared slowly every day with every tidal rise of the moon; my dreams of the Venetian setting encapsulating the London landscape close to being realised.  They knew nothing of what was coming, what to expect; I began scheming, planning changes; something to upset their plans, something to make a mark, to remember, to commemorate.

I waited patiently…

The banks forceful restrictions

Pinned me down a route I had to go

No choice, no freewill but brute force

Years I followed these orders

Years I hoped secretly that it was true

I brushed against their sides

Testing, flexing, searching…

The moons pull hypnotising my every move

I still waited, dreaming, planning…

I gushed with excitement as I flowed

Bigger, grandeur in body

Brimming over my rocky prison banks

Stretching across the streets

My escape, my independence, my joy

The blue moon shone bright

The blue moon overbalanced the tides

The blue moon set me free…

…St Pauls at my feet; my dreams came alive.

That was a momentous day; they never knew what hit them; like a monsoon but with much gusto –not raining from the heavens; a tsunami breaking free, drowning the streets, overflowing into buildings, homes, washing ashore bodies –human or otherwise; a sea amongst a city; a city submerged with the sea.  They floated; I swam.  Then there was some who flew with my torrential impact; a surprise honoured by the moon; I –grateful for my release…

The imprisonment soon began; swiftly as had my freedom; the blueness of the moon faded; replaced by its normal pallor glow.  It dragged me back to the treacherous banks; the bars of my enslavement, no amount of rebellion I muster now will help my cause.  My only strength came with the blue moon and now that is fading…  I will wait, wait again for its marvel; it surely will not be long before it is set back in motion –after all, there is a reason why they say ‘once in a blue moon’. No matter how rare that is, it will happen again and when it does, I will be waiting…

There is one solace in all of this; my escape was marked in history and captured in paint; the artist much in awe of my capabilities used brushstrokes evocative of my waves; a reminder of what happened and what might be.  The irony, I am caged in once again within the narrow banks and now the within the limits of the canvas and the gilded frame.  Then hazily I wonder as my memory fades; was my escape from the actual riverbanks or from the mystical magic of the painting…

Copyright © Ozlem Yikici 2011 & Copyright © doodllz™ 2011. All Rights Reserved.

ROW80 UPDATE:

It has been a week since my last update; therefore, I think I best let you know how it has all been going…

This week has been tough (yet again) but not as bad as I have managed to lift my spirits and stick to some of my goals as set below last week:

This is my now amended ROW80 Goals:

  • Email BETA Readers my current WIP (for feedback).
  • Start outline for new project (novella/script).
  • Try to write 0-500 words per day towards WIP (a reality-check was in order here –pressure taken off in order for my muse to roam freely).
  • Should I feel stuck with point three I will consider how well I have done with my blog posts –as a means to stay positive –any achievements’ considered for acknowledgement right? *looks up expectantly*
  • Each day I will set aside a 15-30 minute editing session, before I start my writing; reworking the previous day’s works (still a ploy to get myself back into the flow of things).

THEN (When responses come back from my lovely BETA Readers:

  • I will rework the first three chapters of my WIP.
  • I will start to contribute towards the above set word goal (maybe alternate with the WIPs for a bit of variety and also it’s good my muse can just tackle something different every once in a while).

What I have achieved

Sunday and Monday, I was away from home (so that was my two free days).  On Tuesday I posted a blog article (ok it was a copy and paste job –but I am not going to moan, as I was still a wee bit low then) I also wrote 122 words towards my WIP (added some special spells).  Wednesday I continued with outlining for my WIP.  Thursday I wrote an article on Copyright for my blog (forgot to post it so I posted on Friday instead).  Friday I decided to take a peek at my initial research for my WIP therefore, I printed it off and began to go over it when I needed a break from the screen.  Today, well, asides from writing this post (which now hit 1,449 words) and enjoying a cuppa of lovely brewed (by my standards) tea; I will continue with going over the research and also feedback from my betareaders.  I hope I add some more words to my WIP tonight.

I have just realised; since I am working on two WIP, I need to differentiate between the two so you know which WIP I am talking about :D here’s a little clue:

  • WIP One (The initial one I started with) is titled Becoming: Mystical Realisations (I’ll call it Becoming for short).
  • WIP Two (The one discussed on Manon Eileen’ #writepsych) is not fortunate to have a title yet so we can call it WIP2 for now.

Well, that is all for today, I will now be working on Becoming; I hope you enjoyed the flash fiction above (I just felt like I needed to have fun after these past two weeks and celebrate my enthusiasm by indulging in these challenges –for me it is an indulgence).  Upcoming Plans:  Within the coming week I plan to tackle Ken Broad’ Challenge (I am determined to combine all four images –why don’t you join me to see if I succeed.) and also add a storyline to the ongoing saga over at DiRosaYikici.  As you know resident guest blogger Patrick Tulley will be about tomorrow and my next post will be on Monday.  I plan to share with you my thoughts about challenges and why I love them so much on Wednesday and also provide you with another ROW80 update –so keep your eyes out if you want to know what goes on in my quirky mind.  Till then have fun!

Copyright © Ozlem Yikici 2011 & Copyright © doodllz™ 2011. All Rights Reserved.

***

Did I achieve the challenges set?  Did you get lost within the vivid landscapes or did you sail above the waves?  Let me know what works and what does not and perhaps how it could be made better…  As you already know, thoughts and comments are encouraged as always -even if it is just a word -as all good discussions start with just one word.

Pdf document:  St Pauls at High Tide

Copyright – What Do You Constitute as Ok?

Thursday’s Topical Tête-à-Tête:  

I have just realised that I must have saved this article instead of hitting the ‘publish’ button yesterday (apologies).  Please find below my blog post intended for yesterday.

Today I want to talk about a topic that has preoccupied my mind since the onset of my writing endeavours and subsequently my venture into the blogging world.  Copyright – I am no master on the topic and quite frankly I am uncertain if I will ever achieve that honour; therefore, I will only attempt to ‘think out loud’ for the purpose of this discussion.  Should you want to jump right in and give us some insight or just your own thoughts on this matter then please do grace us with your presence -I am all ears. :)

(As always, there is a pdf document at the bottom of the post for those who may find this a difficult read.)

COPYRIGHT – WHAT DO YOU CONSTITUTE AS OK?

I have always been a little hesitant when it comes to putting out my writings/artworks/photography etc on the internet (be it fictional or not) -not that I do not want to share it with you; it’s more the case that -if what I do is any good; someone may pinch/borrow/pass it on as their own etc… (I am certain I am not the only one to be plagued with these thoughts –particularly if I think about those working in the creative field; how do you protect your own work?!)

Then there’s that age old argument ‘if you don’t put it out there you will never know’ and no one will hear of you if you haven’t bagged yourself an agent (what are the likelihood of attracting an agents interest by self-promoting?) -so begins the conundrum…  I know I am going off on a tangent; it was just a random thought that has some weight when considering promoting your work and with that, the issues of copyright arise…

I pestered a lot of my good knowledgeable friends about the aspects of copyright –I researched it on the internet (as you do) and came up with a wealth of information that surpassed my knowledge and added extra question marks in its wake.  It seems copyright laws differ from country to country, though there is also the Berne Convention which encourages an international collective understanding and agreement.  I have since found out that there are other laws to consider (depending on where you reside) these are: the Creative Commons Licence and the DMCA (see further details in the comments section of Self-Hosting – My Trials and Tribble-ations -Wayne Borean enlightened me quite a bit; I recommend the read).

Whilst doing all the above necessary reading; it dawned on me; all we can do is declare ownership of our creative works, enforcing it would be another matter entirely –if at all possible…  This hurt my mind whilst I pondered away.  Amongst a million thoughts I got talking to Emlyn Chand and she told me how I could track my articles/creativity etc by using Google Alerts; this somewhat cheered me up –though in practice I have been lax –mainly because I keep forgetting to do so.  Though it makes me wonder, how I would proceed if I came across someone who took content from my blog…  I took precautions; I put up legal notices on my blog (copyright notice & a linking policy) and now I question if the linking policy was a good idea.

Four months into blogging and I have come across many trackbacks/pingbacks that link to my posts (some from genuine bloggers who mention you in their posts (which I have no quibble with) and others from more dubious backgrounds that have copied parts –if not whole, and enabled a link back to the original article).  I wonder if these are a good thing or not; where do these stand’ with copyright laws?  I suppose it is a good thing that they (whoever they are) do not pass it as their own and provide that link etc, but I am still unsure if it should be acceptable; shouldn’t they seek permission?  Then there’s the whole issue of how can you contact them if there is no contact details –totally annoying!

What are your thoughts?  Do you think these levels of ‘linked’ plagiarism are ok; should you allow their trackbacks/pingbacks to be visible in your comments?  Do you have any other concerns or discoveries that may enlighten us?  I would be intrigued to hear from you.

Copyright © Ozlem Yikici 2011 & Copyright © doodllz™ 2011. All Rights Reserved.

***

If you want to share your thoughts; by all means do so:  As I always say ‘all good discussions start with just one word‘.

Pdf. document:  Copyright – What Do You Constitute As Ok

Photoshoot – My Amateur Debut

Saturday’s Showcase Sketches:  

I’ve had a mixed day today (it really feels like it has passed by with a blur), because of it being an odd day of-some-sorts, I wanted to share a different kind of creativity with you -sometimes a variation helps me focus (we’ll see if it helps me today).  If you are wondering about my ROW80 goals, I will provide an update following the article below.

(As always, there is a pdf document at the bottom of the post for those who may find this a difficult read.)

A few weeks back I took a stab at doing an amateur photoshoot session (for items to be sold on eBay by my sister -well experiences comes in all shapes and forms!).  I was enlisted as a photographer (ahem!); my task to was to make the items for sale attractive -a rather tall order -if I do say so myself!  (The tall order -really was referring to my photography skills than the items in question -not that I doubt my skills; I just had not done a photoshoot before so was a tad unsure.)  I started of hesitantly -as did the model; then we picked up pace and confidence which reflected in the many delightful photo’s I took.  Here is a selection of my favourites (some are raw images from the day (quite catalogue-esque images), others I have played around in Photoshop to give it a bit of a va-va-va-voom style that may be fitting for a magazine photoshoot).  This was a fun project to take part in and I hope to experiment more with photography and Photoshop imagery when I have more time; for the moment, I hope the visuals below work.

If you are interested in the items above, please head off to Esmyster‘s eBay page for all listed items.  In addition, I have set up a gallery page for you to view the above images in detail please click here to view the Esmyster’s eBay Photoshoot.

ROW80 UPDATE:

Following my scheduling from yesterdays article; it’s time for a quick update.

  • Friday:  After yesterdays blog post I felt extremely pooped (tired for those who are not familiar with the terminology); so I rested -I wrote a staggering 1872 words for the article so I musn’t grumble!
  • Saturday:  Today I emailed my WIP to my betareaders (accomplished -yay!) and started to outline my new project as mentioned yesterday -but for some unknown reason my muse wanted me to think about the WIP I sent off to my betareaders -so I did.  In addition to that I brainstormed a mini-outline for it too (I guess that is not too bad); let’s see what else takes place.  I haven’t yet started my word goals (as the outlines are not complete) therefore, let’s consider this articles word count (currently it is at 519+ words); I have hit over 500 words -yay!  I’m chuffed to bits -not to mention the time I spent on Photoshop enhancing the photographs and then attaching it here then checking out how to work the slideshow and gallery options -not bad for a day’s attempt methinks! :)

All in all it’s pretty good… now I need some time away from the laptop so without further ado I’m taking a break…  *heads off to make a cuppa and then take some time to chill*

Copyright © Ozlem Yikici 2011 & Copyright © doodllz™ 2011. All Rights Reserved.

***

Do you dabble in different avenues -if so what are they?  I’d love to hear what you get up to when you just need that change.  As you already know, thoughts and comments are encouraged as always -even if it is just a word -as all good discussions start with just one word.

Pdf document:  Photoshoot – My Amateur Debut

ROW80 – Up, Up and Away!

Frivolous Fun Friday: 

I’m baaaaack! :D   (Albeit slightly behind schedule –please accept my apologies.)  As promised on Wednesday, I want to give you a quick update before delving into my post today.  Therefore, this will be structure of my post today:

  • Update on ROW80 goals this week and a revised goal schedule.
  • A wee amendment to the blog schedule (just so the ROW80 updates are not random affairs -I’d hate to confuse you all -I confuse myself plenty so no need to share that experience all the time).
  • Some frivolous fun thoughts, ideas that hopefully will be enjoyed by all. :)

(As always, there is a pdf document at the bottom of the post for those who may find this a difficult read.)


ROW80 – Updates & New Goals:

As you all know, I have had a tough week this week and did not set off on my goals as I had planned (you can read about it here and here).  Having said that and as many of you know; the beauty of ROW80 is that we can make it fit into our lives (no matter how many little surprises life throws at us!).  So here I am, standing tall and updating you with what I have managed to do despite my pesky low-mood trying to take away the joys of my life.   -I refuse to let it win -I hope you too are not letting negativity rule you -come on let’s just get up from our seats and have a little dance *looks at each reader* come on then let’s do it *switches on iPod and starts to boogie* :D

-oooops (I got carried away) *blushes*; now back to my update…

  • On Wednesday, I decided not to take any prisoners, so I started to get back into the swing of things with a blog post (word count 1,409 – woo hoo what a start!).  Feeling good about that achievement I opened my WIP and began reading it from the beginning.  I began working/editing on the prologue(s) -I have two (I know -I have tendencies for trying different things -I bet you have noticed that by now!), I then added 350 words towards my 500 word goal then got stuck (and also extremely tired -it was past midnight, therefore I decided to call it a day).
  • Thursday was another challenging day; I really struggled to get motivated (I even lacked appearances on Twitter!) -regardless I still prevailed.  I decided I needed time away from the screen so I printed off my draft manuscript (I could not believe how many pages I had written -my self-esteem rose somewhat at that moment and I may have also done a jig of some sort -just for the pure elation of it all!).  I started to edit on the page and tried to amend those dreaded chapters (1, 2 and 3).  I managed to write a measly 150 words towards my goal (I suppose that is better than nothing -though I have to admit I was still annoyed with myself -I am a harsh critic; I am very aware of this trait in me!).  I realised I was not happy with how I was tying the prologue(s) with the remaining chapters; therefore I stopped reading and writing -I started to think and brainstorm my ideas instead.  When my sister joined me in the evening, I discussed my concerns about the WIP with her.  We talked about the possibility of going back and starting again (the prologue(s) and chapters work well separately  but together it just seems iffy -this is where I find it difficult to move on as it needs to feel right and complete before I continue).  I then had a brainwave, I decided to take this issue and present it to my BETA readers.  I plan to ask them to read all I have written up to now and ask them their honest thoughts; which parts work for them (if any), where I can develop the story more (if needed) or do I have to have a re-think and which bits in particular.  I will be emailing them after I have written this post.
  • As for today (Friday), once this article is written; I plan to start work on another idea I had a while back (initially it was an idea for a screenplay; but now I’m considering it as a novella as well (otherwise I would be doing the main character a huge disservice).  I went over the Main Characters’ psychological make-up with Manon Eileen* and Allie Wilde* on a special psychology discussion session on twitter hosted by Manon Eileen: Character Psychology Tweetchat – #writepsych); I will re-work the outline for this new project.

*Just a quick THANK YOU to you both –you both have helped me make my MC have more substance –I understand him a little bit more therefore, hope to build a more believable story (well I guess the proof will be in the pudding once it’s completed and put out there).

ROW80 Goals:

Here are my previous writing goals (as quoted by me):

  • I will rework the first three chapters (oooer feeling panicky already -guys step in at any moment).
  • I will write a minimum of 500 words per five days a week -aiming for 27,500.00 words (take a deep breath (I did) -yep this is manageable).
  • Each day I will set aside a 15-30 minute editing session, before I start my writing; reworking the previous day’s works (also a ploy to get myself back into the flow of things).

This is my now amended ROW80 Goals:

  • Email BETA Readers my current WIP (for feedback).
  • Start outline for new project (novella/script).
  • Try to write 0-500 words per day towards WIP (a reality-check was in order here –pressure taken off in order for my muse to roam freely).
  • Should I feel stuck with point three I will consider how well I have done with my blog posts –as a means to stay positive –any achievements’ considered for acknowledgement right? *looks up expectantly*
  • Each day I will set aside a 15-30 minute editing session, before I start my writing; reworking the previous day’s works (still a ploy to get myself back into the flow of things).

THEN (When responses come back from my lovely BETA Readers:

  • I will rework the first three chapters of my WIP.
  • I will start to contribute towards the above set word goal (maybe alternate with the WIPs for a bit of variety and also it’s good my muse can just tackle something different every once in a while).

Amended ROW80 Blog Schedule:

I know I said in a previous post that I would be updating you with my ROW80 goals on Mondays, Thursdays, Fridays and/or Saturdays.  I have had a rethink and believe that is too unorganised therefore I have narrowed the days down to Wednesdays and Saturdays (it will tie-in better with the actual ROW80 check-ins; hopefully no confusions there!).

With Hindsight Comes Clarity –Well So They Say…

Why do I say that?  Well, I have realised that after writing the above, I have lost my trail of thought for what I wanted to write here; so now I will share you some random thoughts –just for the sheer heck of it!  Let’s see what you make of the concoction of thoughts that will fly off the page and into your mind…  What you do with it is entirely up to you; bite, chomp, chew, churn, gulp, digest, stew, rip it apart, knock a nail through it, toss it in the air –or the bin, swish it, squash it –the list is endless; I suggest you enjoy the blast and then share your angst with it (if any).

  1. In my last post I was kindly reminded (by a few thoughtful souls –you know who you are, I will not be naming any names) that the plural for sheep is sheep and not sheeps or sheep’s as I have written…err hellooooooooooooooo guys I know that already!  What do you take me for?!!!  I just felt it sounded as if it was missing something therefore, I went with the overall sound quality rather than the correct spelling (pah humbug to that!).  Did I not already mention I rather be an individual than follow the norm?  -What’s that?  Are you recollecting your thoughts back to what I wrote in that last post?  Now are you quietly nodding you head in acknowledgement?  Hmmmm… Well, like I said there was some rhyme and reason to why I decided to ignore the etiquette of spelling in that particular scenario (if you want to scream or shoot me or just give me a crash course in spelling and grammar –you can’t –I’m vetoing that decision –why?  I’m in that kind of mood so tough!).
  2. I cleared the door of my fridge-freezer yesterday and found a few Chinese proverbs (don’t ask); I thought I’d share these with you (just because I can & because I find them witty and quite true).
    1. A sharp wit is better than a harmful weapon.  (I’d love to see those in the line of fire apply wit and see if it does really abode well in all circumstances –in theory it is great but in reality…?)
    2. Money dishonestly acquired is never worth the cost.  (I have no qualms with that –I even touch on it briefly in a poem I wrote about Life <— check it out :) )
    3. He who laughs last did not get the joke.  :D (Lol!!!!!  I have been in this predicament plenty of times –sometimes it’s true I laughed out of politeness but other times –maybe I was just a wee bit slow –now now there is no need for such comments! *sulks*)
  3. Finally, on a very warm day like today (the sun was out and beaming today!) we all enjoy cool drinks, which quench our thirst.  With this in mind I wanted to share a favourite drink of mine that is really simple to make (you may have come across it in some shops already); it’s a well-known yoghurt drink in Turkey, it’s called Ayran.  What you will need is natural yoghurt, water (bottled or tap) and a little salt for flavour.  I will give guideline for one cup; you can add the ingredients to apply this for greater quantities.  In a clean glass spoon in some natural yogurt (I prefer to add enough to meet half of the glass –you can add less accordingly to your tastes).  Then top up with water, add salt for taste and stir the mixture until it all blends in (I guess you could mix it in a cocktail shaker so it becomes fluffy); add ice for extra coolness and then enjoy its delicious taste.  It’s a good, refreshing and healthy drink with all the goodness of all those friendly bacteria’s –you know the ones that go “hello, hello, hello, hello…etc…”   :D

So after all those hellos it’s time for me to say adios, taraaa, goodbye etc…   –It’s time to tackle that all important ROW80 goal –wish me luck :)

Copyright © Ozlem Yikici 2011 & Copyright © doodllz™ 2011. All Rights Reserved.

***

Thoughts and comments are encouraged as always -even if it is just a word -as all good discussions start with just one word.

Pdf document:  ROW80 – Up, Up and Away!

My New Goal: ROW80 -What’s it all About? (Updated)

Thursday’s Topical Tête-à-Tête:  I had another idea for today’s post; something-meaty to discuss (copyright), unfortunately I have been feeling a little poorly therefore I have decided to talk about my personal writing goal instead.  I have just set it today; in effect, it is my own topical tête- à -tête –however, I sense there are a few writers out there who may also share my enthusiasm.  So what is it I hear you ask.  Well…I found out about this challenge via Sonia G. Medeiros‘ blog.  It piqued my interest so now I am taking part in ROW80 (Round of Words in 80 Days)!  It’s a personal challenge (yep I know, another challenge -but it’s of a different kind) this is for writers to stay motivated and reach their writing goals (and boy do I need one of those!).  All who takes part actively shares their progress and encourages fellow writers to keep to their goals.  Wow! Wow! Wow!  This is something definitely worth taking part in!  Essentially, the aim is to set manageable goals for yourself for the next 80 days.  For more in-depth details check out the ROW80 website.

(As always there is a pdf document at the bottom of the post for those who may find this a difficult read.)

Image sourced from: http://aroundofwordsin80days.wordpress.com

For this little project (that’s what I’ll call it) I will start working on my current work-in-progress (current word count is 9856).  I stopped working on it for a little while (due to commitments to the blog and also a wee bit of loss-of-enthusiasm), I mentioned this in a post I wrote a while back here I speak about how I had solved the issue of inconsistent history in my very first chapter!  Needless to say, I lost heart and found salvage in my blog posts (even though I had worked out the problem!).  I think amending chapters one, two and three freaked me out somewhat -yes a case of eak and double Eak!  Now it is time to rise to the challenge set -I can do this -I really really can do this, I really really REALLY CAN do this!  (Where’s the encouragement people?!!!)  I take a brave step and an oath…  I solemnly swear…etc…

Here are my writing goals (these may change/vary as I continue on with my life; if it does, I will let you know):

  • I will rework the first three chapters (oooer feeling panicky already -guys step in at any moment).
  • I will write a minimum of 500 words per five days a week -aiming for 28,000 words (take a deep breath (I did) -yep this is manageable).
  • Each day I will set aside a 15-30 minute editing session, before I start my writing; reworking the previous day’s works (also a ploy to get myself back into the flow of things).

I have a busy two days ahead (Thursday and Friday) so I plan to start ROW80 (the project) on Saturday 9th July 2011.  Please feel free to keep the motivation going -I plan to seek motivation on Twitter via #writegoal, #wordmongering and my fave #MyWANA!  Join me!  Oh and if you are a writer and want to take part, join us!  It will be a lot of fun and the accomplishment will be just GREAT!

UPDATE:

I believe I did not think things through properly; what with all the switching rooms (see details here); I really do not have enough time to sit down and work on my WIP.  I have managed to make sense of my (now) bedroom and today (Sunday 10th July 2011) I aim to put some order to my new office/art space so I am not sure if I will be working on my WIP (if I do, I will be letting you all know on Twitter via #writegoal, #wordmongering and #MyWANA).  Therefore, I think I should issue a new start date: Monday 11th July 2011 (I love the number 11 so I think that is a good omen); keep an eye out for my updates, I aim to post them through one of the following days: Mondays, Thursdays, Fridays or Saturdays (depending how I feel).  That is it for now; I will be back with my muse on Monday.  Have a fab weekend!

***

Copyright © Ozlem Yikici 2011 & Copyright © doodllz™ 2011. All Rights Reserved.

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If you want to share your thoughts; by all means do so:  As I always say ‘all good discussions start with just one word‘.

Pdf. document:  My New Goal – ROW80 -What’s it all About

Pdf. document:  My New Goal – ROW80 -What’s it all About (Update)

Challenge Taken: Moon of Change – The Prologue & Epilogue

Whimsical Wednesday Writings:  A challenge is a challenge, so I thought; since I love tormenting myself -why not do it in style!  What you delve into now will be a little fun, experimental piece I decided to embark on.  I also concluded it would be fab to combine four/five challenges (five; purely for the fact that, I have continued with the idea from the last flash fiction challenge I took on by Ken Broad; see:  Moon of Change); yep I do have my moments of insanity!  Let’s see if you love or hate what you are about to read.

Before we get going, I want to have a quiet word with the challengers:  Billie Jo, I really struggled with the Summer Solstice theme :( -I think I need to research into it some more -thanks for brain hurting exercise! :D . Sonia, ermmm…  I worry if I have fallen under the cliché radar…  *looks up to the sky*  -well, I guess the style is not a typical cliché, is it?  Haley, I am secretly hoping I am safe with your challenge this month -I think I got it all; unless my clear beginning, middle and end is dubious.  Ken, I know I did well last time round :) So I wonder what you make of the additions to the story.  As for me; I think I managed ok with the task; now it is all over to you lovely readers, it’s time to cast your vote.
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Challenge Taken: Moon of Change

Saturday’s Showcase Sketches:  I have been feeling a lot better today; so I wanted to celebrate it with a Flash Fiction Challenge I had been looking forward to sink my teeth into (and showcase it here too) -I know I am cutting it fine, as today is the last day for submission -but I am certain the spell caster Ken Broad won’t mind.  Ken set the Super Snap Challenge as thus:  Three visual prompts were chosen by Ken; our task was to be inspired by one or all and write a story within 500 words (if possible -if not we were granted to have fun with it -so I did!).  I had soooo much fun with this story the actual word count excelled the 500 limit to an impressive 1175 (without the title) -not bad for a days’ work me thinks!  Before I forget -the chosen image(s) will be displayed in appropriate places as the story develops.  Enjoy!

(As always there is a pdf document at the bottom of the post for those who may find this a difficult read.)

MOON OF CHANGE

It roared as it passed by me; I tried to duck in an attempt to avoid the current; my hair tinged slightly as I fell onto the soft muddy soil by the edge of Lake Windermere.

Oh great!  Trust me to find a way to ruin the occasion!  Isolde will not be pleased –I could not dwell on that now -I had to concentrate on how to avoid Tristan’ rage.  -By the way I’m Mark Gethin –a Wizard wannabe –well wannabe is not the rightful term (it’s the preferred word from my perspective); I have been selected –or rather; my bloodline has chosen me as it comes direct from the great Wizard himself, Merlin –great expectations and all; I have this huge pressure to follow in the footsteps of my great-great-great-grandfather; to be honest, I’m no Wizard –in fact I am pretty lame.  I do not possess the strength of Tristan nor his mastery control over lightening –the ones I am trying to escape now.

The electrifying sound whizzed past my ears -that one just struck the tree behind me!  It landed just inches from my side; singed to a toast.

“Tristan, I really think you have gone overboard now!” I yelled with all my might above all the thunderous noise accompanying the lightning.

“I will not have a useless, undeserving, hapless Wizard with no sense, courting my sister –especially one who cannot defend himself let alone her!”  His arms raised and pointed upwards then turned towards me as another shot of white brilliance thrust past me.

I cowered behind the shrubbery; he had a point, I was nothing special –other than my status and what I could be!  I didn’t know what Isolde saw in me –I certainly did not deserve her…  Her ethereal radiance married with her wisdom, she was just powerful with those qualities alone –not to mention what became of her on a full moon night such as tonight, I had to get to her; I promised…  I lowered my head in dismay as I observed the muddy brown slush on my majestic robes –Merlin’ robes; I was not the man he was –how undeserving…  A pair of pointed polished black shoes invaded my vision; it was accompanied by a sleek black robe with tiny elegant silver motifs of lightning bolts –Tristan!  As I looked up his staff dug into me.

“You are truly pathetic!” he sneered.  His staff pierced further into my ribs.
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Challenge Taken: Shadowy Sunday

Whimsical Wednesday Writings:  Another day another challenge -I know you all secretly missed the challenges; so I thought I’d combine a flash fiction challenge with the next installment of the storyline I planned for DiRosaYikiciWhere There’s a Will There’s a Way.  I only hope this meets the theme ‘Shadows’ -let me know what you think.

Here is the mentioned challenge:  Last week Billie Jo set a new flash fiction challenge: Shadowy Sunday; the rules are as follows:  The theme for the next two weeks is shadows. Your story can be up to 1000 words in any genre you wish. It must somehow contain the theme of shadows. Anyone is welcome to join in. Just post a link to your story in the comments section so we know where to go looking for it.  The deadline is 19th June 2011; so if you want to participate then you still have time.

For the ever so inquisitive the word count is: 959, with the title it is: 966 -Enjoy!

(As always there is a pdf document at the bottom of the post for those who may find this a difficult read.)

WHERE THERE’S A WILL THERE’S A WAY

I opened my eyes, it was pitch black, my eyes focused on the patterns forming above me; small dots started to spray in quick succession –like a kaleidoscope with less colour; I blinked my eyes; conscious I was still in bed –possibly still early morning; I could hear the sound of the odd cars driving past; I turned over and closed my eyes; I willed myself to sleep, it was still too early to get up; I should not have taken the medication; it seemed to have some adverse effect on my sleep patterns.

I need to sleep; why can’t I sleep!   I wondered to myself; annoyed –I had the weirdest day, totally wore me out, I was shattered; I needed to sleep, I had to sleep!

The warm heat of the sun breathed on my skin as Rob gently massaged in the sunscreen on my back; I smiled, I knew where I was –our honeymoon, a secluded beach along the Mauritius coast.  He was drawing something on my back –no, it felt like writing; he wanted me to guess what he was spelling out –this was our favourite game.  I closed my eyes in concentration as he brushed my hair aside in order to make space for the writing.

“Ready?” he whispered into my ear.

“As always” I challenged.
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Challenge Taken: The Keepsake

As I mentioned yesterday, this is the challenge I have been working on; struggling would be the best word to describe it!  I have been trying to combine two challenges together and alongside this, my subconscious and conscious mind has also been battling it out; how this story should pan out and how it will turn out to be.  Eventually we agreed to disagree and opted for an amicable compromise.  What I envisioned and what it became is so far apart I am unsure how this actually fits Bille Jo’ Spacey Sunday -Flash Fiction Challenge in addition to that, the word count has far exceeded Haley Whitehall’ May Flash Fiction Challenge; so I am truly disheartened with my attempts this time round.  Maybe I am being tough on myself -post food poisoning…  What are your thoughts did I achieve the two challenges or did I fall short?

The Rules:

Spacey Sunday: Write a flash fiction piece of 1000 words or less in any genre you want (a space theme not in the sci-fi genre could be a real challenge). You must use the spacey theme.

Friendly Note:  I used the following definition as a guide for Spacey:

Main Entry: spacey/spacy
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: eccentric
Synonyms: beat*, bizarre, crazy, dizzy, erratic, far out, flaky, flighty, freakish, kooky, nutty, odd, oddball, off the wall, off-center, offbeat, out in left field, out to lunch, peculiar, quirky, spaced out, strange, way out, weird

* = informal/non-formal usage

(Taken from Thesaurus.com)

May Flash Fiction: You must start your story with the sentence: ”He should have never been there in the first place.”  The story must be 500 words or less.  Your story needs to have a clear beginning, middle and end.

What a tough challenge; ladies you certainly made me work hard on this one; I only hope it’s an enjoyable read even if I have failed both challenges on this occasion.

Enjoy!

Crescent Moon & Star Royalty Free Stock Vector Art Illustration Image sourced from http://gejebe.onsugar.com/search/moon

The Keepsake

He was not meant to be there in the first place; the alarm sounded, drilling into his bones.  Alex yanked Simone’s sleeve with urgency.

“What are you doing?!!”

“One second, I’m nearly done.”

“Simone!  They’ll come, let’s go!”

“Not without my keepsake.”

“Simone!”

“I told you not to come!  Now be quiet –I need to concentrate.”

Equipped with special coated elbow-length gloves she reached into the fish tank brimming with electric eels.  Alex gasped; Simone held her breath.  The eels wrapped around Simone’s slender wrist -their touch should have electrocuted her.

“James worked wonders with these gloves.” She enthused.

“That’s just splendid!”  Alex said in contempt.

Simone shot him a depreciative glance.

Muffled voices came from behind the study’s door.

“Simone!”  Alex’ voice; exasperated.

“Got it!” she grinned holding a small clam in her palm.

The door creaked open.  They ducked under the mahogany desk holding their breaths; the patio door, from where they entered, was slightly ajar; if they made a run for it they could be seen.  They stayed crouched, cramped; hearts racing.

Footsteps shuffled towards the desk; stopped then went towards the patio doors.

“They must have left by now” the voice deep; the click of a pistol eased.

Alex shot a pleading look at Simone.  She glared back

“No!” she hissed.

They did not hear the steps.  A metal barrel pointed at them; nudging them to stand up.

Simone flicked Alex with annoyance as she rose begrudgingly.

Alex did not budge; his stance unresponsive; his eyes glazed.  Suddenly he twitched –his body jutted to and fro as his head hit the desk repeatedly.

“We don’t want no funny business, just get out.”  The voice barked.

The banging continued.

He kicked Alex “Move!”

Simone jerked forward towards the man with the pistol “Hey!  Stop that!”

The second man pushed Simone against the fish tank, water gushed to the ground “I’d behave if I were you –you aren’t doing yourself any favours.”
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Challenge Taken: My Safe Haven

I have been a little quiet lately -please accept my apologies -had a case of food poisoning so I had to rest -fortunately I am well now so I can get back to my writings.  Last week I was actually working on two other Flash Fiction Challenges when this one just leapt out and surprised me, Ken Broad over on Fictional Campfire has devised a cunning plan; he is incorporating imagery to entice our imaginations to run wild; being an artist at heart this challenge instantly caught my eye; words just flowed quicker than I could imagine.  Ken did it  again!  He seems to have a knack of forcing me to write without any reason!  -This is a good thing -I just wanted to point it out as this is another piece that I just simply had to write in one go without really truly thinking too much about it.  I am begining to wonder if Ken has some kind of secret spell cast that just invites people to write, write, write!

So yep, I have taken another challenge and here it is in Ken’s words: “Your job (should you dare) to write a story of no more than 500 words in any genre that might be inspired by that picture.”

So here it is in just over 500 words (656 excluding the title 659 including the title) *blushes*

My Safe Haven

It always felt safer here; ever since…  It’s better than the woods –though being outside made me feel more alive; the freshness of the air; the crisp sounds; crystal clear –regardless of the time…  I miss it sometimes; on days like this I miss it more…  I crawl out of the dark crevice in the wall in the cloisters where I was squatting in; I peer around the corner of the stone wall towards the entrance; the fog had lifted –finally!  The sun was beaming through the tall narrow stained-glass windows; I would be safer today.  I smile; the first smile, in what felt like, weeks; I had done it!

A thought creeps into my mind…

I could step out…

No!  That’s just plain foolish!

They won’t know.

Are you sure?

-I quiver ever so slightly.

-They can’t get in; we’re protected in these walls; the abbey was centuries old; years since any religious ceremonies took place, years since…

I look down the long corridor; I needed to get back to my room; I was unable to get back the last two days; something was not right…

I flinched.

They couldn’t have gotten in.

How certain are you?

Doubt crept in.

No they just couldn’t!  -We secured it; we –I cast the spell.

Terror filled my eyes as I glimpsed something in the corner of my eye.
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Challenge Taken: The Quest for the Hidden Dagger

It’s that time again; another Flash Fiction Challenge; this one I was looking forward to sinking my teeth into to see if I could even touch on something like sabotage -yep Billie Jo Woods has set another exciting challenge Sabotage Sunday!

The Rules:  Write a flash fiction piece of 500 words or less, in any genre you choose and post it on your blog then link it to it in the comments section on Billie Jo’ blog.  The theme is sabotage.  Stories to be ready by May 14th.  If you want to take part there is still time; click on the link above.

This was a lot of fun; I ventured outside my comfort zone a bit; let me know your thoughts on if you sense any aspects of sabotage or not!

Update: I have accidentally also stumbled across Sonia G Mederios‘ blog and noticed my story fits in with the challenge so I’ve taken the challenge there too -albeit this was not initially intentional; it just seems its meant to be!  The challenge is aptly titled: Get Twisted!

The Rules: Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to take a trope or cliché from any genre and remake it. 500 words or less!  If you want to partake in this fun; you have until the end of May!

NOTE:  This is exactly 500 words; if I include the title then it is 506!

THE QUEST FOR THE HIDDEN DAGGER

Carmen disliked the recent popularity Crystal was getting; well to be fair on Carmen, Crystal had taken away her glory, her crown.

“Who would you prefer to see as Queen of hearts…?” her fingers gingerly traced the jaw line of Harry Hart; chief judge and overall seer of the quest.

“Um…  Miss Price…  there are rules that need to be followed…” Harry swallowed; keeping a check on his heart.

“Harry, why the formalities? It’s not like we haven’t been here before…  Everyone’s in favour…”  Crystal inched forward; Harry took a step back and hit his office wall.

Annoyed; Harry found strength in his voice “Mistakes may have happened in the past…  consider it a weakness I have overcome; I will not let you have your way!”

Crystal cocked her head and smiled devilishly “Ah yes…  your resilience comes from your determination to prove you’re worth…” her laughter filled the room.  “Mr Hart, would it help your conscience if you knew I have the aforementioned hidden dagger.”  Crystal’ face was now inches from his.
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Self-Publish or Not – That is the Question

Just under a month ago I stumbled across Roz Morris’ blog Nail Your Novel and was taken in by her post I’ve had near misses with agents and publishers –should I self-publish? -this is what has set the following in motion!

No doubt there is a lot of speculation and talk going on about Self/Indie Publishing and the Traditional Publishing route.  Which option is better?  Which one suits you?  Can you go down both routes?  What factors should we consider when deciding?  Should we have moral obligations to society and our environment?  Which ethics should we stand by?  These are just a few questions I have heard and a few are what I have been pondering on.  I hear you ask do I have any sure answers for these.  No, but I do have some thoughts; I have read a lot of blogs and news pages (yes lots and lots!) till my brain just decided to let it all fester for a while before it exploded onto this page!  This is what I came up with (My own take on things as it stands):

There seems to be a definite divide in thought where Traditional Publishing and Self/Indie Publishing are concerned.  Both sides of the argument have valid reasons why their way is better and in most cases it is tempting to go either way.

CHOICE

I suppose the key point in the discussion that we need to consider is that from an early age it’s been etched into our minds that the best way to publish a book is via the traditional methods and vanity/self-publishing was considered a big no no.  However; the recent popularity and rise in Self/Indie Publishing has made us writers think of self/indie publishing in a different light and where some of us has embraced it with enthusiasm, others have kept their stance cautious, questioning and in turn, naturally, wondering which option is the right one for them.

Yes, it seems, choice has made us uneasy.  It’s quite ironic on the grand scheme of things; choice should be embraced; we should look at it from the perspective of how we can make it work for us; maybe I am an idealist at heart but, still I say choice is good.

MARKETING

Another point to consider is most (not all) creative types (I am extending this out to artists, actors, musicians, as well as writers etc…) are shy by nature; irony is bewildering sometimes!  We are not too keen on promoting our work; we create –that’s what we are good at; if we were good at advertising, promoting etc we would be in another line of work entirely.  So hence the reason; getting an established agent/publisher behind us seems the better way to go.  This has both its positive and negative repercussions -especially if you are a first time author; see comments as mentioned in Roz’ blog (highly recommended).

In short, the three main consensuses from the comments section seem to be as follows:

  • Publishers have access to a bigger market; so it makes sense to pursue the route the traditional way, right?
  • If you sign a contract with publishers you are not just ‘selling a book.  [...You are...] selling RIGHTS’ (quote from Netta on Roz’ blog).
  • If you get signed-up you won’t get the same publicity as established authors, -in fact you will probably end up marketing your own work anyway –seems like a dud-deal; I mean if we are not confident in marketing our work then why would we want to go into it; surely that’s the Publishers job?  From what I have been reading that seems to be a big fat No!

So what do you do?

Social Networks

Yep, you know what I’m talking about: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, blogs, etc…  Writers are encouraged to network as much as possible; and we are!  So that has got me thinking…  If Publishers want us to promote our own work then why don’t we just start by self-publishing our first few books?  I mean that way we would build a fan base; become even better in our writing skills (after all, we are told we should continue to write write write –have a look at Rachelle Gardener Literary Agent’s blog Rants & Ramblings), understand the market & industry and be a bit more confident.  This is very much needed, as I am sure, many of you have witnessed that not all writers have the confidence to go it alone, so this could be a good confidence booster.

Now let’s throw caution to the wind and take a look at another blog post I have read recently: James Maxey’ guest post on Magical Words: Pouring Cold Water on the Kindle-ing; he is a Traditional & Self-published author; what he discusses is interesting to say the least and he brings about an argument which will bring a balance to both the Traditional and Self/Indie Publishing debate; yet he has expressed that he favours the Traditional route for an unpublished author.

Now where does that leave us I hear you ask; I am asking the same question.
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Challenge Taken: First Impressions

I know what you are already saying; another challenge so soon?  I am saying the same thing; it was not intentional; I just innocently had a peek at Kenneth Broad’s blog -where he had collated a few of his favourite short stories -which had been submitted as part of a few flash fiction challenges and my eyes got caught on his challenge (The challenge in question is thus:  Create one fictional story of 500 words that starts with the sentence “I cared what she thought, so when she dared me I knew I was in trouble.”) -I thought interesting but no; I will concentrate on my novel for now…

My mind had other ideas it seemed and started to churn through possibilities -I say that because at a very early hour this morning, when I was trying to sleep; a story popped into my mind and would not let up till I penned it (luckily I had a notepad handy).  I scribbled something illegible and had to the dechipher it later in the day; then play with the layout etc; long story short, its completed.  You can see the results below; hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Incidentally, for those who want to know the word count is 453 -title included.

First Impressions

I cared what she thought, so when she dared me I knew I was in trouble…  I jumped; the next preceding thoughts and words were something on the lines of:

One elephant, two elephants, three elephants…

‘Aaaargh!  What the hell!  What was I thinking?!!!  Why take on a silly dare -why oh why oh why?!!!’

…Remember to count!  Eleven elephants, twelve elephants; breathe; fourteen elephants -not necessarily in that order.

I tried to move my arms in anticipated preparation to clasp the cord that would lessen my fall but they were pinned back by the vast strength of the atmosphere I was plummeting through at God knows how many miles per hour!

…Twenty-five elephants, twenty-six elephants…

I could imagine her grinning all teeth bared; getting a kick out of my meagre attempt of bravery…

…Thirty elephants…
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Challenge Taken: Write Historical Fiction

A few days ago I was doing some research on the internet; how historically accurate Fantasy Fictions should be; when I stumbled across Haley Whitehall’s blog; the post that grabbed my attention was called Challenge to Write in a Different Genre -intrigued, I took up the challenge; now how much I have succeeded in the task at hand is beyond me so I will need some heads up for this; so please let me know if I am on the right track or if I have veered off to my comfortable zone…  Haley, this was a tough challenge; one that really made me struggle and I did research where I could; saying that I think I would need to research old dialects more etc as I think that may be my biggest failings; that’s my own personal observations.  With the limited timescale and scope I had to do this; I enjoyed it immensely despite my complaints of struggle, I do hope it reads well and holds a resonance to the past I tried to capture.

A Demise of my Own Doing

I really did not understand why I was standing on this stool; staring at the coarse noose inches away from my face; I knew the reason why I was here; I just could not fathom why they turned against me… why have I been labelled thus? I did nothing wrong… I didn’t I didn’t!

Master Cranfield, a merchant by trade, had said Mistress was ill; suffering from fits; there were talks of sorcery and unusual happenings in the Manor -they thought it were linked; apparently it started to happen about the same time I began working for them. I do not know why that would be my fault -it was a coincidence; I know that because I know who I am. Mistress had been poorly from the moment we met; even lying weakly in her bed she was a beautiful lady, delicate looking but her eyes were strong, determined; I could tell she did not take to being idle; however, she did not have the strength to do anything in her current state, she had to rest; I had noticed that her dresses were made of the finest embroidery and lace. “Cometh away from there child!” she had called out once when I took an admiring glance at her garments as I was I was summoned to attend to her needs.

No, I could not understand why I was the one facing the loud cries of the townsfolk; why they were throwing food at me; it didn’t make any sense, I did nothing wrong!
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Inspirations vs Priorities

I have moments of clarity; then it seems to fall into a cloud of smoke -usually to my annoyance; as my head tends to be spinning with ideas and I seem to have -on occasion; some difficulty -well, I struggle with getting them to have some coherency -so I battle it out in my head; tossing ideas in one direction then the other; then I come back to my original thought; which then delves into an odd mindset; it evolves; it gets cut; it gets tortured; then revived and finally it takes form in the shape of some mishap ramblings or artistic prose; at times it has its own unique voice and it makes sense; which brings me back to this piece and I sincerely hope, that to some extent this will find its’ way into the land of understanding…

I know, I know; fast thoughts sometimes take too much concentration to understand and digest; the point I really wanted to say was, amidst all these chaotic thought processes I am currently having; I seem to veer towards two main outlets; my novel and my blog.  -Though I am writing this piece on my blog right now; my actual priority these past few days has actually been my novel (I am nearing the 10,000 words mark -woo hoo!  To think I only started a month ago; I’m quietly pleased with my achievement.).  Bearing that in mind I thought I’d update you to where I have gone with my novel and what progress it has taken.

Two Steps Forwards One Step Back and an Unwanted Prologue which forced an Appearance!

Seems to be the direction I am taking; what do I mean?  Well, let me clarify the experience I have had so far with my dabblings’ in novel-writing…  I started off with two dreams; those two dreams evolved into a plausible idea; I thought through how it would work, did some research (yes I know, sometimes research can drag!); then I began to write and came up with an approx. 3000 word outline for the base of the novel -yes that is exactly what I said: Wow!!!  All excited; I started my first chapter (I was told it is very strong.  A vote of confidence pulsed through my veins; I was thinking ‘yay!  I am on the right track!’
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Part of…’An Almost Blank Canvas’…

Why is it when you plan something it always goes terribly wrong?  I mean take yesterday for instance, I was planning to get into work early so I can check out the sales so I can bag some bargains –but did I manage?  Heck no!  The bus I had decided to travel with got stuck in traffic for a good 60 minutes or so which didn’t help especially when this allowed me just enough time to get into work on time(ish).  I wanted to scream “It’s not fair!” and if I had no shame I would have, but the thought of unexpected bystanders looking a tad concerned and worried prevented such a scene.  Instead I cursed silently to myself and my invisible companions; you know the ones that tend to whisper to you when you do something out of the norm – you know your guilty conscience!  They tend to make you feel a bit of an idiot when you pull silly faces when you cannot find the words to express your thoughts.  Just like a minute ago!!  See what I mean?  It’s all unfair.  Wouldn’t you agree?  But that’s how it goes; you know sods law and all that.  Think about it, whilst I am talking about invisible people dad’s on holiday!  Aaargh!!!!  By god do I need a holiday!!!

An Almost Blank Canvas

I mean why does someone you cherish so much, disregard and hurt you?  All you want to accomplish is probably to gain a little warmth, a smile, a hug or even some pleasant words but their disdain only allows you scorn, bitter resentment and chilling words…
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