I replace the receiver back on the phone and sink my back into the cushions resting on the wooden chair; I tilt my head backwards and smile, this is perfect, too perfect, things are actually going to turnout ok…finally I have the perfect reason to leave, no guilt to harbour, our vows, now rendered redundant, but I do not care…I haven’t for a long while, I only agreed to it for Tom’s sake..and he does this, how ironic…
Smiling, I twist the gold band around my finger one last time and remove it, placing it on the oak desk, untying mine and Tom’s bond. I am free, free to move on with my life without Tom…now I can openly be with Ben, guilt-free.
*Written for Voice Week 2013.
The phone rings at the same time, each day, every day…I daren’t answer it, so I do not…I just watch it light-up with each buzz. The news is rarely good, I’ve seen it in my dreams…so I do not answer, just watch it each and every day, hoping for its silence.
Subconsciously I go to twist the gold band on my ring finger -except it’s not there, I look down at my hand, diverting my eyes from the phone; an indentation of the ring screams stark realisations to me…it also explains Tom’s cold cup of coffee each morning and the dinner he never eats. It makes sense, but it does not…
Warning: Strong language used, please read with caution. 16+).
It’s been hours since…the phone on the oak desk smiles smugly at me, willing me -no, taunting me to make the call, but I shan’t, I shouldn’t listen to those thoughts, Tom said I mustn’t, that they do not speak the truth, that they lie…but he lied too…he lied when renewing our vows, so why should I believe him -and her
I slam the receiver onto the phone, the oak desk underneath creaks in response -how could he? How dare he -and with her -of all the people, Clara my sister, my blood -how could they? I punch with my bare fists onto the desk and recoil (flinching) then punch again and again, my knuckles red raw.
Heya to all you lovelies, I’ve had a busy few weeks with moving furniture, sorting out the flat, and taking on some volunteering work that my writing has taken a step back, but I’m still writing some poems, and that’s about it; therefore I decided to get back into the swing of things (so to speak), and so this week I’m going to take part in voice week 2013.
What’s that you ask?
Down in the forest, right near the lake
Toadstool fairies swept leaves with their rakes
Whistling and singing
Dancing and prancing
They cleaned up the paths of where their homes lay.
Hiding in hedges, near by the trees
The pixies watched the fairies with glee
Waiting for sundown
Before they attack
They planned to mess the work (of the fairies’ comeback).
Written for day 20 of OctPoWriMo; today’s challenge: to write a love letter (from an unlikely pair) or write a poem in the form of Rictameter. Initially, I could not come up with an unlikely pair to write about, therefore, I took on the Rictameter challenge, and that inspired me to write the love letter (I hope it works). lol -As for the additional challenge Morgan (oh my goodness (I hate not stepping up to the mark); but I’m awfully camera shy, so I’ve done a voice recording, which is equally embarrassing for me, please accept my apologies from now) –it’s my compromise, I do hope I do not get penalised.
*To listen to the voice recording of ‘Enlightenment through the Dark’ please on the play button above or below (whichever works), otherwise, click onto the more tab to read my attempts at today’s prompts (this is for readers reading this from the main blog page and not using a direct link).
(To read ‘Enlightenment through the Dark’, please follow this link.)
The Candles’ Spell
Dancing against shadows
Pirouetting to hearts of stone;
Playfully toying and igniting sparks
These stoned hearts, never danced apart.
My time is limited today, so today I’m sharing a poem I wrote a while back, I feel it is suitable for today’s prompt for OctPoWriMo (day 12), the prompt is shadows -our shadows, it’s what makes and sometimes breaks us, the important thing is to learn from our shadows and overcome them to become better individuals and also have an understanding for those people whom we surround ourselves with.
Disclaimer: The subject matter may not be suitable to all tastes; you may even classify this as a little disturbing; this is a relatively dark piece with dark thoughts. I do not condone you to think like this -or act out any parts of this poem; this piece is just expressing an idea and is intended as an exercise in exploring the word prompt ‘shadows’. If you are a younger reader, please avoid reading this.
I Didn’t Want To Be…
Today’s challenge for OctPoWriMo is to write a lyrical poem, which in theory should not be difficult seeing I get a lot of people telling me my poems read like song lyrics; but actually sitting down and constructing a lyrical poem has been quite challenging; I am unsure if what I have written will be considered as a lyrical poem, as I have added a change to the flow in parts, so parts read rhythmically faster in places…however, I do hope you enjoy the poem as it is, a poem which wrote itself as I listened to some lovely calming music….
Not You or I…
It was not you or I
Just circumstances gone wry
It was not you or I
We strayed our paths, combined…
It was not you or I
Hope’s light took with it, our hearts.
It was not you or I
One wing of bat,
one fur-ball of cat,
two tonsils of Jedi’s,
(now’s where is my hat?)
Stir in three slugs,
add two electric plugs,
magic in cauldron-
I peep through the door,
(Glares two stony eyes),
Says he’s the Reaper,
I glide down my cries.
This weren’t the bargain,
I made them wherein,
He’s seven years early,
With no heaven gate pearly.
I shout through the door:
‘Please do come in
but do be aware, I’m a little chagrin.”
I have been informed that one of my posts has been sabotaged, therefore I have had to delete it. Hearing this news upset me, as it made me realise that, it does not really matter who you are, big or small in this world, evil is just pure evil and people will go to any lengths to discredit you or abuse your platform. I am unsure who this said person was and why they would do such a thing. I just hope, none of you’s have been effected by reading that post. The particular post in question was: ‘Tiny Baby Steps ROW80 Style’. Please let me know if you have noticed any other unsual activities from any of the the other posts (I hope there is no other).
In the meantime, I want to repost the deleted post in it’s entirity as it was a pretty significant piece for me at the time. The lesson I learnt then is an important one, which I often forget time and time again, so as a valuable tool to remember, (maybe fate’s trying to remind me a few important truths), I need to take this on again. I do hope this post is as valuable to you as it is to me. Apologies in advance for some of the news below not being current; cutting any bits out would lose it’s meaning, therefore, I have kept it all together. I do hope I have made the right decision. Anyhoo, enjoy.
It feels like another eternity has flown past since I last wrote a blog post. The passing times have been difficult, the road to recovery, testing, challenging and perplexing at times. A constant battle in my mind between self-doubt and belief that I can beat this, I believe I will, it will just take time and patience -something, you, my lovely readers have in abundance.
Helloooooo to you all, hope you are well and are on target (for whatever it may be -seriously, I’m curious now, what are you all up to these days? Leave a comment below and let’s have a conversation ). If you all are asking about moi, these past few weeks I’ve been busy spending time with my family/friends (and Megan), writing, resting and snapping away taking pictures and editing them to my hearts’ content and then sharing them on instagram and here (when I have the time to do so). This has fuelled my creative drive somewhat and other than the odd spurts of dizzy spells (which forces me away from my laptop and any long-burst of writing) I have been feeling rather positive about what is in store for me. Getting back to my art and photography has become a blessing in disguise (as had my writing last year); being able to visualise and bring together images and create imagery which people appreciates’ has been extremely satisfying -as well as it has reminded me how much I missed just doing arty stuff. So, this is me -in addition to my writing; I will be designing visual artworks when I cannot write anymore due to my dizzy-spells; hopefully my art will spur on my writing and vice-versa.
As you all know I have been struggling with keeping to my blog schedule –I’ve changed it a few times; but it’s not turned out quite to how I’ve envisioned it to be. External factors (laptop problems & internet connection issues) and internal factors (my anxiety & bouts of low moods) have stepped in and hindered me somewhat –it’s been pretty depleting and has made me feel like quite a failure (which I know I am not) –therefore, I REALLY hate it. For this reason I’ve come up with a cunning plan which will hopefully allow me to breathe and have fun with creating fun, thought-provoking and creative articles again –all with an element of surprise. I’m DITCHING the pace of the schedule, what this essentially means is I will post articles when they are ready and not to a predefined schedule. I am hoping this will help with lessening the anxiety I put on myself as I normally focus on trying to finish an article on time and then post it when I feel it’s not ready and needs more work. By taking out the time-constraints I hope to not feel pressurised and in turn be more forthcoming with my article. The only aspect of the schedule I will be keeping to is the themes. This means when an article is ready for posting I will schedule it to be published on the relevant themed day. –so when you see a post on a Monday you will know is a Meandering Muse, Tuesdays will be challenge orientated and Flash Fictions, etc…I’m sure you get the idea.
For my ROW80 update please follow the link to my ROW80 At-a-glance-progress-page.
I’ve been tagged -where have you heard that before -the school playground? Well, sure -that was like ages ago. What I meant was that I have been tagged twice (yep you heard correctly, TWICE) in the blogging community, by two fellow writers (Vikki & Jennifer Baker) who are part of the Fourth Writer’ Platform-Building Campaign. What does this entail? Apparently a Q & A session with yours truly (how lucky you are ). There’s 2 x 11 set of questions by the above
interrogateors -I mean interviewers; I thought (as much as I love answering questions) I’d whittle it down to the usual 11 questions we have here as part of Savvy Salutations. I hear that sigh of relief! *darts a look full of disbelief* Anyhoo, before we go on to the questions, I wanted to share an inspirational song by Natasha Bedingfield, Unwritten (above); this is for the fab ROW80 & WPBC posse as well as anyone else who wants to be inspired.
I am unwritten, can’t read my mind, I’m undefined
I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin…
Natasha Bedingfield sings (full lyrics can be found here); I think these words are perfect for what we are striving to achieve, capturing the images and senses in our stories and transferring it into words which someone would hopefully take pleasure in reading one day. To catch up on my ROW80 progress click here, to continue with the questions I have been tagged into please read on.
I’m Guest Posting over at Kait Nolan’s ROW80 Blog
Come and join me as I discuss:
There’s something about taking risks that instantly makes us apprehensive, it’s like the wave of nausea that hits you before you decide to take the plunge and jump off a plane on a crazy whim of bravado or you drop everything and go to explore the world –well that may be an ostentatious example; but you get the point.