I replace the receiver back on the phone and sink my back into the cushions resting on the wooden chair; I tilt my head backwards and smile, this is perfect, too perfect, things are actually going to turnout ok…finally I have the perfect reason to leave, no guilt to harbour, our vows, now rendered redundant, but I do not care…I haven’t for a long while, I only agreed to it for Tom’s sake..and he does this, how ironic…
Smiling, I twist the gold band around my finger one last time and remove it, placing it on the oak desk, untying mine and Tom’s bond. I am free, free to move on with my life without Tom…now I can openly be with Ben, guilt-free.
*Written for Voice Week 2013.
The phone rings at the same time, each day, every day…I daren’t answer it, so I do not…I just watch it light-up with each buzz. The news is rarely good, I’ve seen it in my dreams…so I do not answer, just watch it each and every day, hoping for its silence.
Subconsciously I go to twist the gold band on my ring finger -except it’s not there, I look down at my hand, diverting my eyes from the phone; an indentation of the ring screams stark realisations to me…it also explains Tom’s cold cup of coffee each morning and the dinner he never eats. It makes sense, but it does not…
Warning: Strong language used, please read with caution. 16+).
It’s been hours since…the phone on the oak desk smiles smugly at me, willing me -no, taunting me to make the call, but I shan’t, I shouldn’t listen to those thoughts, Tom said I mustn’t, that they do not speak the truth, that they lie…but he lied too…he lied when renewing our vows, so why should I believe him -and her
Down in the forest, right near the lake
Toadstool fairies swept leaves with their rakes
Whistling and singing
Dancing and prancing
They cleaned up the paths of where their homes lay.
Hiding in hedges, near by the trees
The pixies watched the fairies with glee
Waiting for sundown
Before they attack
They planned to mess the work (of the fairies’ comeback).
Written for day 20 of OctPoWriMo; today’s challenge: to write a love letter (from an unlikely pair) or write a poem in the form of Rictameter. Initially, I could not come up with an unlikely pair to write about, therefore, I took on the Rictameter challenge, and that inspired me to write the love letter (I hope it works). lol -As for the additional challenge Morgan (oh my goodness (I hate not stepping up to the mark); but I’m awfully camera shy, so I’ve done a voice recording, which is equally embarrassing for me, please accept my apologies from now) –it’s my compromise, I do hope I do not get penalised.
*To listen to the voice recording of ‘Enlightenment through the Dark’ please on the play button above or below (whichever works), otherwise, click onto the more tab to read my attempts at today’s prompts (this is for readers reading this from the main blog page and not using a direct link).
(To read ‘Enlightenment through the Dark’, please follow this link.)
The Candles’ Spell
Dancing against shadows
Pirouetting to hearts of stone;
Playfully toying and igniting sparks
These stoned hearts, never danced apart.
Day fourteen and surprisingly, today’s OctPoWriMo’s prompt is ’silence’, (I’m fortunate today’s a quiet day for me), so here you are…this is what the prompt encouraged me to write, I do hope you enjoy the read.
A Bewitching Silence
Calm comes with its sparkle
Serenity smoothing daily blare
-Its’ golden twinkle focusing on my view
Its’ glitter reaching into depths
Depths of a soul
Awakened to see,
My eyes closed,
Yet opened to a glory I’ve not ever known.
I’m deafened in a soundless wake;
My time is limited today, so today I’m sharing a poem I wrote a while back, I feel it is suitable for today’s prompt for OctPoWriMo (day 12), the prompt is shadows -our shadows, it’s what makes and sometimes breaks us, the important thing is to learn from our shadows and overcome them to become better individuals and also have an understanding for those people whom we surround ourselves with.
Disclaimer: The subject matter may not be suitable to all tastes; you may even classify this as a little disturbing; this is a relatively dark piece with dark thoughts. I do not condone you to think like this -or act out any parts of this poem; this piece is just expressing an idea and is intended as an exercise in exploring the word prompt ‘shadows’. If you are a younger reader, please avoid reading this.
I Didn’t Want To Be…
Today’s challenge for OctPoWriMo is to write a lyrical poem, which in theory should not be difficult seeing I get a lot of people telling me my poems read like song lyrics; but actually sitting down and constructing a lyrical poem has been quite challenging; I am unsure if what I have written will be considered as a lyrical poem, as I have added a change to the flow in parts, so parts read rhythmically faster in places…however, I do hope you enjoy the poem as it is, a poem which wrote itself as I listened to some lovely calming music….
Not You or I…
It was not you or I
Just circumstances gone wry
It was not you or I
We strayed our paths, combined…
It was not you or I
Hope’s light took with it, our hearts.
It was not you or I
One wing of bat,
one fur-ball of cat,
two tonsils of Jedi’s,
(now’s where is my hat?)
Stir in three slugs,
add two electric plugs,
magic in cauldron-
I peep through the door,
(Glares two stony eyes),
Says he’s the Reaper,
I glide down my cries.
This weren’t the bargain,
I made them wherein,
He’s seven years early,
With no heaven gate pearly.
I shout through the door:
‘Please do come in
but do be aware, I’m a little chagrin.”
I have been informed that one of my posts has been sabotaged, therefore I have had to delete it. Hearing this news upset me, as it made me realise that, it does not really matter who you are, big or small in this world, evil is just pure evil and people will go to any lengths to discredit you or abuse your platform. I am unsure who this said person was and why they would do such a thing. I just hope, none of you’s have been effected by reading that post. The particular post in question was: ‘Tiny Baby Steps ROW80 Style’. Please let me know if you have noticed any other unsual activities from any of the the other posts (I hope there is no other).
In the meantime, I want to repost the deleted post in it’s entirity as it was a pretty significant piece for me at the time. The lesson I learnt then is an important one, which I often forget time and time again, so as a valuable tool to remember, (maybe fate’s trying to remind me a few important truths), I need to take this on again. I do hope this post is as valuable to you as it is to me. Apologies in advance for some of the news below not being current; cutting any bits out would lose it’s meaning, therefore, I have kept it all together. I do hope I have made the right decision. Anyhoo, enjoy.
It feels like another eternity has flown past since I last wrote a blog post. The passing times have been difficult, the road to recovery, testing, challenging and perplexing at times. A constant battle in my mind between self-doubt and belief that I can beat this, I believe I will, it will just take time and patience -something, you, my lovely readers have in abundance.
It’s daunting, sitting here typing away the first piece of writing I’ve done in -what feels like ages. It’s been like months since I last wrote to you…so much has happened since then; my life warped in-front of my eyes as different lifestyles were thrown at me. All of which I loved, yet was not enough for me to stay… I have become my own martyr -my own hurdle. Where stepping-stones tried to lead me home, I veered off the path, distracted by the many facets of what could be. A Red Riding Hood losing track of time. A child in a candy store. A flightless bird left at sea. A void in a bottomless pit. A nothingness in the sea of digital living. Life’s mysterious endeavours tried to overthrow me. Life did not succeed.
Dearest readers, as some of you may already know, I am fascinated by the workings of the human mind (always have); with my previous employment (Support Worker) I was fortunate enough to work with and support adults with numerous health conditions -including mental health. I witnessed, first hand, my own prejudice to mental health and also how ‘healthy’ people (within a professional field or not) overlooked (and still do) the simplest of needs these individuals have. Confused? Over the next few weeks/months (let’s see how I feel with my schedule), I hope to shed some light on human nature and how our mental state can develop or falter in certain situations/circumstances. Today I will attempt to analyse how isolation can be detrimental to your health and how a little outside influence can make a difference. Curious to know how? Let me explain.
Before we start, I do hope you have watched the video above (it’s about 6.30 minutes long and worth every viewed second); not watched it yet? Well, we can wait a few more minutes until you do. Ready? Ok then, here goes…
The video is a great example of how the human psyche can deteriorate without any stimulus. I hope in this article I will be able to explain this with clear evidence and insights from my observations on the job and my chance encounters in life with people I’ve met or those who are within my close family/friends circles.
During my time as a Support Worker, I have worked with many elderly and vulnerable adults, all with varying needs (some less, some more); however, what I noticed during my 5 year career-span was that they all had a common need, the need to not be isolated.
Yep, I too used to think that was absurd, surely they have loved ones who look after them and those care homes, they must be great…